Will smith inspirational words - You want something go get it!

Overcome the Resistance

You know it's been said that we just don't recognize the important moments in our life while they are happening. I don't think this has ever been more true for me than right now. Right now I feel stuck in a worthless situation. A point in my life where very little makes sense. A time when the future seems desolate and hopeless (job-wise).

However, as I've been really thinking about all of this for the past few weeks, I've recently come to a conclusion. I am at a crossroads right now. I can give in to the resistance (that voice in your head saying you can't do this, that you should just give up, find something comfortable and be happy with it) or I can push through, do what's hard, what many people are not willing to do and hope that there is a reward for hard work and perseverance.

If I quit now, I don't know if I could come back from it. I have had minor successes at a few things in life, but all in all, when it came down to it, I gave in to the resistance and fear and quit. Whether it was sports, school or just daily challenges, this pattern remained constant.

If I push through the fear and uncertainty and find a way to succeed, I feel like it could be the start of many achievements, that I could maybe finally start to live up to my potential.

In trying to motivate myself, I often find myself going back to this clip from The Pursuit of Happiness...

Decisions, Decisions

Making life-changing decisions is tough. Especially when you feel like you are going into it blindly. Right now, I am at a fork in the road, with a decision to make. In the grand scheme of life it probably won't be all that significant. It could change my current path and make my current situation very different, but long term it is not likely to have huge significance. I am not one who thinks one decision can derail someone's entire future, but in the midst of making such decisions it is hard not to think about that exact thing..

First is the doubt... am I running from something or to something. This may not seem all that different, but to me it is one of the most important questions to consider. Am I running from fear, anxiety, discomfort or am I simply recognizing a bad situation and finding a better alternative. Will things really be any better anywhere else? If the issue is with my fear or anxiety, I will face the same issues anywhere and making an external change will not be of much good. 

Second is recognizing that just because I am not completely enjoying my situation doesn't mean that it isn't where I am suppose to be. Clearly, God does not intend for our circumstances to be desirable and perfect but that we remain joyful and thankful despite of our circumstance. I'll be the first to admit, I have failed miserably at this so far. 

Third is actually understanding what God's will is in the decision. This is a tough one because I have learned the hard way that in order for this to happen you actually have to be quiet and listen. For weeks, I kept talking at God, telling him how much I disliked my situation and telling him to do something about it. It wasn't until recently (with the help of a friend) I realized that I need to stop making demands of God and simply listen to what he might be saying. This is a new concept for me to a large extent, and I'll admit, it is definitely a discipline to be learned. 

Finally is the concept of having faith and trusting that God will not abandon you, regardless of your decision. I think I have been waiting for a someone to walk up to me and hand me a piece of paper telling me what decision to make. Now, I am not saying that this couldn't happen, but often it is far from the case. As Mark Batterson discusses in "In a pit with a lion...", rarely is any situation crystal clear-- if it was, no faith would be required. Most of the time 50-75% sure is the best you'll get, the rest is up to you taking a step out of faith, and trusting that God is with you no matter what.

New Beginnings

Starting new is hard, and maybe more so for some than others. I happen to be a person whom which it is very hard for. A new job, a new city, a new life can wear on you if you let it. I personally have trouble being myself around new people and in new situations. My mind has been poisoned to believe that "fitting in" is better than being "individual." I think this has a lot to do with the difficulty of starting new. Stay with me on this for a second...

For the past two months my life has been radically different. I got married, got a new job, moved to a new city and left my hometown for the first time in my life... all within the same week.

In my marriage... which, first of all, sounds really weird to me because most of the time I still feel way too young to be married. In getting married, you have to redefine who you are. Suddenly, I have someone else to look out for, support (try) and share nearly every moment of life with. I'll be honest, this can be a shock at first and at times can really bring our selfish nature to light. Of course, I am not saying getting married was a bad thing, it is amazing, but it can challenge who you are as an individual as now you are trying to mesh that with another being.

In my new job... This has likely been the most difficult aspect of the change in my life. Being thrown into a new situation, in a new place, around all new people, I did what I have learned to be the best way to survive-- I conformed. Rather than approach most situations with individuality, I tend to act how I believe the person I am dealing with wants me to act. If it's my boss, I'm passive and obedient. If it's a co-worker, I agree with their viewpoints and submit to their experience. I do this, I think, to fit in. It makes it easy, or so I think. In reality, I am learning that this takes a huge toll if sustained. After a while you forget who you are. At first, it's ok. At work you are one person, but when you come home you are still able to be your true self. Then, somehow, without you even noticing, the lines blur and you forget who you are.

That is where I am at now. I can't remember who I am. It causes an immense amount of stress. Losing yourself is a tragedy, one I sat by and let happen, encouraged even. The most frustrating thing is that I recognize this, process it and still do nothing to change it. At this point, the people I see everyday expect me to act as I have. Changing it now would be twice as hard as if I would have just been myself to begin with (epiphany?!).

Perhaps, not much of this makes sense. I apologize for that, but sometimes you just have to organize your thoughts with written words, it helps make sense. For not, I think I'm left with one option: stand up and be myself of live miserably. Hopefully I'll make today day 1 of re-discovering myself.

Change

Lately I have been considering what it means to live a life that embraces the way that God has called us to live, especially in this day and age… I hear this kind of phrase a lot. It almost seems that many of us have come to think and accept that many of the truths of the Bible are not relevant in our society today. We should trust in God but, the economy is bad right now so its ok to put some trust in money or to save a little extra just in case. We should not even allow a hint of sexual immorality in our lives, but that was before we were faced with the pressures and temptations of today’s society so it’s ok to “stretch” that a bit. In a world where anything goes and right and wrong are “personal convictions” that each has with their “personal savior”, how can we figure out how to live? Most of these issues have become touchy subjects, especially in churches. No one wants to talk about it, and you can’t suggest something is wrong with driving a fifty-thousand dollar car or living in a multi-million dollar house because then you are being judgmental, and to a certain extent, I agree. Not that it isn’t wrong, I believe that it is completely wrong, but I can’t say anything because I still have a log in my eye. I don’t have the funds to own a fifty thousand car but my ten-thousand dollar car, or my seventy-dollar t-shirt were just as luxurious to scale.

We are told not to store up treasures on earth, but just what does that really mean? Look around your church (or at yourself), we live in luxury. Sure, maybe you know of someone in your church who has more or a nicer car, or house, or clothes, but does that make it right for us to have what we have? Where is the line, it’s so easy to manipulate passages like the one above calling us to store up riches in heaven to mean whatever makes what we are buying that week “ok”. I think it’s safe to say, that everyone one I know (me included) lives in luxury. I work part-time and make more than 80% of the world, and I can’t even fathom living on the “small” amount I make. Is that a sign that I am rich? That I have too much?

When I encounter these issues, my next question is usually, how can I change? How can I make decisions that are in accordance to what God demands of his followers? I was reading “Crazy Love” earlier and Chan writes,

“But we need to realize that how we spend our time, what our money goes toward, and where we will invest our energy is equivalent to choosing God or rejecting Him… We disgust God when we weigh and compare Him against the things of this world. It makes Him sick when we actually decide those things are better for us than God Himself.”

That really breaks it down pretty simple. The Bible says not to worry about material possession, or to live in luxury. The bible calls that a sin, a sin many of us are living in and see nothing wrong with it. It honestly makes me feel really convicted. It makes me want to change, and I hope that I can. 

A Calling

I was thinking today about people are "called" to serve God in many different ways. Missionaries often explain their willingness to abandon the safety and security of the normal American life (which is quite possibly much more dangerous in terms of eternal security than anywhere they go) to a "calling" and spend their lives in service to those in need around the world. But I was wondering how often God calls and no one answers. It would probably be something like this: Ring.... Ring.... Ring... "Um this is Eric, I can't answer this call right now because I am too busy doing something else" .... Does God leave a voicemail, or maybe he to has noticed that people these days respond more quickly to a text message.

Anyway, with that aside, I wonder for myself, if God called me to serve in some way that didn't fit into my plan or was inconvenient (and I'm not talking about calling me to switch the kind of pop I drink or  or to really suffer and not get that iphone I've been wanting (which sadly, would probably be considered radical christianity in America)  but a call that would change my life and make me explore and encounter new things, would I listen? To use a real-life example, if God called me to go to Africa or (fill in suffering country), would I do it? If I answer truthfully, I'd have to admit, "I'm not sure." I mean I have all these plans for my life and that would not be found in any of them. Would I be willing to give all that up to follow his calling? If I didn't would it be one of those situations where I just wasn't a christian that is cut out for that kind of service, or would I be disobeying God?

In Francis Chan's book, Crazy Love, he talks about "lukewarm christians" and he describes the vast majority of American Christians. The main differences being that we go to church and unbelievers don't. Our lives really don't look any different, if you look at the daily life or 5-year plan of the average christian compared to a non-christian, they wouldn't look much different. We compare ourselves to others in our church, and as long as there is someone who parties more or drives a nicer car or who's kids cuss more or whatever then we feel we are on the right track. We completely forget that the Bible tells us to examine ourselves in comparison to scripture not others around us be it our Pastor or the guy who cuts your hair.

I'll be the first to admit, that I struggle with this. I gauge the purchase of many of my material wants based on what others in my church are doing, if someone else has a nicer one (regardless of what it is) then I feel completely justified in having something similar.

I hope that I can change, I hope that I can evaluate my life based on what the BIBLE says is congruent with someone that is a follower of Jesus and not something that merely is accepted in American Christianity as "enough."

Destiny

There is one thing that will push a man past fear, and that is destiny. Although a quote from the TV show, "Flashforward", this saying seems very true. On the average day, an average fear of mine seems almost too much to confront. It could be anything from making a phone call for a potential job to the constant worry about what the future does or does not hold. What can overcome this? This question indirectly addresses something I have been struggling with for some time now, just how do I find purpose in everyday life? I have come to find something in the last few months as I have been trying to figure this out that is depressing and honestly something I should be warned of in other areas of my life. I spent so much time trying to figure out how find purpose in the average day, complaining, be it internally, that my life was too simple or boring to have meaning everyday. Then suddenly a week had passed... still no feeling of purpose, a month/two months... still no purpose. I think at some point you have to stop searching for a bunch of reasons as to why everyday has a purpose and just start living ON PURPOSE. I don't know, maybe it won't work, but I'm going to try it.

Back to addressing the issue of destiny overcoming fear. When I think about my life, about times when I felt I was really living, when I was willing to put something on the line, to risk something that could leave me hurt or looking stupid or whatever, the reason I was willing to do it was because I felt a sense of destiny. I felt that I was part of something bigger and it didn't matter if I looked stupid to others and I was willing to

FACE A FEAR.

The more I read through the Bible and talk with other people (shout out to the guys that meet on Wednesday night), I see that if we truly are following God, our lives do have a sense of Destiny. I have come to realize, that I DO NOT rely on God in my life, I rely on myself and practical thinking or even chance. I have never been someone who says "praise God for that opportunity" or anything like that when something is pieced together to work out, and that saddens me. When I do that, it's like a slap in the face to God, here he is working behind the scenes, displaying his glory and I shrug it off as chance or a good decision I made. This is me admitting, I have been living wrong, I have been missing the point. I hope I can change, I hope I can see that I am part of something much bigger than me.

As one of my friend's was talking last night he said something that hit me, and it's weird that it did because if I claim to be a christian (which I have for twenty years) I should have this down by now. He said something about how our lives should look different, that others around us should notice something is different about this guy. But I don't think I look much different.

Maybe today, plain, simple, boring today I can show someone how I am different. Maybe today, someone else will see that you are living different by what you say or by how you treat them, and will wonder what it is. Maybe today, the simplest act of kindness will change someone's heart. That is what God has called us to do, it that enough destiny for you?

I’ve found in this world a God I can love

He comforts me in pain, like a calm soothing dove

He fits into my life when I need him the most

A word of encouragement wrapped in a neat little bow

My God is perfect and loving where he sits in a box

Bring calm to my anger and peace to my flocks

I promise I’ll call when I’m hurt and alone

And justify my rights through all I condone

Yes, my God in my box is all that I need

I call out thy name with every empty deed

I sit and I ponder while the destitute moan

With comfort and peace I worship his throne

But the Lord of creation sees through our sweet rhyme

A penny for salvation and love for a dime

A religion void of true faith is all that we pay

With nice, neat lines and some words you should say

A prayer for redemption is what we need on this day

To come back from the fallen, to come back to the Way

Cause the Lord we confess sees through our hollow shell

We’re the bitter and cold and look more like hell