Who I am

Lately I have spent a lot of time in reflection... Who I was, who I am and how much influence my past holds on my future as it is unfolding before my eyes. I'm not proud of who I have been, or should I say who I am? Although I feel like I have changed, sometimes I look in the mirror and still see the same reflection. Anger, obsession, fear, anxiety, depression, failure, just some of the many faces that I wear. Sometimes I'm not sure I've put any of my past truly behind me, it haunts me, stealing the very air I breathe.  My failures and anxiety stop me from being the person I could be. Most people don't know me, not the real me. At church one time I heard a pastor say that if you knew the deepest secret of those sitting next to you then you probably wouldn't want to be sitting there. I'm that person sitting next to you. I know there is hope, I do, I feel it, every now and then. Deep down my soul is screaming passionate triumph over the faults of my mortal body, But right now I feel defeated.

Finding purpose in this desolate landscape

I'm a mountain that has been moved. I'm a river that is all dried up... I'm the word that no one ever wants to say.
I am just another person, recklessly searching for direction in a world that doesn't care to take the time to care. Is everyday a meaningless mess of events leading to the climax of your head hitting a pillow? Only to start it all over again? In this blog I will search for meaning, in a hope that maybe I'll be able to write things that I seem to have trouble saying aloud. Even if it leaves me more lost and confused than when I started, I refuse to accept that we are all destined to live meaningless, guilt stricken, fear driven lives. Throughout this blog I will reflect on musical influences, personal experiences, and anything else that affects my life. I invite anyone who takes the time to follow this blog to comment on my posts, agree with what I'm saying or tear it to shreds, all input is welcome.